Do you feel guilty saying No?
It's a boundaries game.....
......no matter how empathic and caring you are towards others and how far you willingly stretch yourself to tend to other's needs, there is this one more person to not forget; You. Yes, you.
Tell me, how often do your over stretch yourself in the pursuit of supporting others? Being there for them? Wanting change, new starts and a life for them, even more then they want themselves?
Trying to be the one, the light bringer and door opener, sometimes easy, sometimes hard and sometimes even desperate. To be the one that can reach in to their darkness, there closed down:ness and the grey fog of theirs lashing out their hurt on to others including you. Being the one wanting to wake them up. Even the ones that are not ready or willing to wake up. But you continue; maybe because you sense an inner calling, or a sub-conscious pattern is driving you to do so. Maybe because it is your job. Or a mix thereof.
It is a tricky line to walk.
Love me some Matt Kahn
I love Matt Kahn's teachings! He is a master. Also this one, this video where he talks about the power of Self-Responsibility speaks to me. He talks about the importance of listening to what your nervous system, body and being are telling you. When do you get drained from interacting with others?
Notice, listen, see, feel. And draw the line in the sand. Make your own wellbeing, self-love and life force important enough to not go on over-giving time after time after time.
One life, one body, one you. Love the one you are. Be the witness of your actions, feelings, thoughts and body sensations. What is driving you? Are you able to stop yourself from having drained moments more or less daily?
See, it might be time and smart to ponder: Are you in the right crowd? The right workplace? With the right love partner? In the right peer group? Friend circle? Ask yourself; what circles of yours lift you up? And which ones don't. Anymore. Maybe never have? You've might have heard the saying; you become the average of the five - or ten - people you hang out with the most. And not just that; do you feel up-lifted or drained by your crowd? So, take a step back and take in the scene; who do you hang out with the most?
Have a look around...and within.
No matter what ANYONE thinks, you certainly have the right to set sound boundaries for your own wellbeing. Dare to say No. As a matter of a fact your life depends on it. In so many layers.
In the feminine energy lays often a focus on relationships and this can easily flip to subconscious fear of losing relationships, love and friendship and thus making it hard sometimes to set boundaries.
Another dimension of challenge when it comes to setting sound boundaries, is the fear of anger and conflict. Fear of feeling overpowered and sensing a subconscious undefined fear. Survival instinct might kick in due to triggered childhood wounds and you go in to that pattern of overextending yourself. Leaving yourself behind and focusing on the other.
Where does the guilt come from if and when you set a sound boundary to guard your own health and sanity? Where does the seed to this guilt come from?
Want to play the game of being the witness?
Well, life is a lifelong road of exploring and growing. How about for the next 24 hours being the witness of yourself and your ability to set boundaries? To practice saying No when your body, nervous system and being actually alert it and need it in order to not get drained? To learn your own signals for it, when something or someone is taking its toll on you.
And Yes, if you sense you are a bit too guarded, to shielded, it might be time to let loose, let go and on the contrary say Yes.....
What better time than in the Summertime to allow the warmth of the sun and the contact with nature to help guide you in to contact with your own divine core and practice being able to follow the flow of aliveness within and around in order to express your authentic Yes' and No's. No matter other people's reactions.
It's your business
You so deserve your right to express sound boundaries. That is YOUR business. Not anyone else's business. If it's God's business? Who knows.
For now, you run the show. Most successfully so when tapped in to your own core and divinity; strengths and vulnerability playing side by side and a sea of all your other shades and faces in between.
That is truly an act of self-love.
P.S. Are you seriously struggling with setting boundaries and it's taking a tool on your health and wellbeing, triggering stress and depletion and a sense of being lost? If so, I am here should you desire some guidance to turn things around in to something more live enhancing and joyful and less pressured and draining.
I am here to hold sacred space for transformation for women and sisters feeling called to BE the change. To step in to being even more soul-aligned, empowered and vibrant. To feel at home in your own skin and in the world. Uncovering, expanding and expressing the woman inside of you. Tending to your holistic lifestyle and wellbeing. Building, running and leading a blossoming heart-centered business. It all comes together. For the highest good of all and the most fulfilling and beautiful life experience for you.
>> If you sense an intuitive pull and a call to work with me as your coach, I invite you to message me here to find out how to make it happen - Message me >